I remember vividly as I was working my way up the ranks in the Air Force as pilot, officer, team member and overall professional. I had more than a full work week of tasks to perform to be competent and relevant at each. I was never the best at what I did, the smartest or naturally gifted, so the pressure to put in extra hours in order to measure up was immense. Yet I was also a husband and a father, a son and sibling, trying to live up to those obligations and aspirations. I wanted to be good at it all.

Early on in my career, we found out that our son had Muscular Dystrophy, a genetic terminal illness that would require lots of care, lots of focus, and would eventually take our son from us before he was able to reach adulthood and independence. It was a crushing feeling, a feeling of helplessness, one that I was not ready for. And yet I was still asked to be a professional, a good officer and pilot, a strong team member. Not just for prideful reasons of accomplishment, but to feed my family and earn my keep. It was overwhelming.

Throughout the rest of my career, those close to me knew what challenges we were facing at home and were understanding and kind about it. But their kindness did not subtract from my professional responsibilities. I still had a paycheck to earn, “to do’s” assigned specifically to me. No one could cover for me in the cockpit as I flew a high-performance aircraft in a dangerous mission. No one could take my place in leadership roles I was given, do my job for me when I was overcome by responsibilities outside of work.

Through it all, I was able to perform at a high level not because of the work others did for me, but because I came to realize that my true teammates and leaders had my back, wanted me to succeed, sustained me in my responsibilities. That made all the difference and made an otherwise challenging situation a great experience for me and my family. Social media is full of perfect family photos, everyone’s success stories, and their awesome vacations. Seldom do we hear about the undercurrent of challenges and disappointments that we each face daily.

I’ve been part of dozens and dozens of organizations over the years, and my experience tells me that no one gets out of this life unscathed. We each face challenges. These are challenges of environment, challenges of our own making, challenges of relationships, health, heartache and so much more.Even the most confident and assertive among us has, is, or will deal with an ugly aspect of life. It is just the way it is.

Leadership with empathy does not ‘carry’ their team when the inevitable life challenges get in the way.In fact, leadership with empathy cheers those with challenges on while asking the impossible of them.It creates an environment that allows for greater focus and self-actualization and accomplishment in spite of the challenges that invariably will be there for all. Everyone hopefully at some point has had a leader that shields the team from unnecessary emails, from tasks that detract from the mission, from distractions and impediments to success. Those type of leaders know and recognize that life is complicated enough as it is, and everyone has their own personal complications that make it harder.With that recognition, they are able to clear a pathway for their team members to focus on what matters instead of being further distracted from unnecessary chaff. When a leader establishes a vision and sets a tone, their follow-on role is to clear the way for their team to realize the vision. De-clutter, provide a path, or whatever you want to call it, they enable greatness by getting rid of worthless/distracting tasks and obstacles.

Clutter is there. Challenges are all around us. Empathize and then empower your team to work in spite of the challenges.