Most of us show up for work or start our week Monday morning and are immediately at the whim of our boss, our customers, or the pressing needs of the day. And it is exhausting, often makes you feel like the week is taking you for a ride. And it is.

As I jump in the way back when machine, I think of the weeks as a commander in the Air Force when I was most productive, and it was when I would start the week taking some key ‘commander time’ to consider what was most important. I would then ensure that my calendar included actions that addressed those important rather than urgent issues. I would program appointments, ‘direct’ myself to focus on those important issues that helped realize my vision as a commander rather than just accepting the stack of paperwork that my secretary would put on my desk.

Even as a commander, the person in charge of an organization, you always have someone else that you are accountable to for your time. For some, it is a higher boss/commander. For others, it is their customers. Politicians—in theory—are accountable to taxpayers. A caregiver is often at the whim/immediate needs of their charge. In our different roles, we are accountable to often different stakeholders and individuals. All of these stakeholders can have a way of dictating every action of our lives if we let them and are not intent on living a life by design.

Regardless of who we ‘work for’, we can and need to be our own commander of how we manage our time and direct our actions. Even when much of our time is consumed taking care of our ‘boss’, it’s possible. Many will try and dictate our time, will push us to focus on the urgent (important or otherwise). Even so, if we have taken command or our schedule, taken charge of the focus of our time, we can still feel like we are in charge of who we are and how we spend our time. This comes by taking commander time before the first kid screams. Before the first email arrives. Before your boss walks into your office. Before first contact.

Being your own commander involves carving out time to review your priorities, your vision, and what matters to you. It involves thinking about how, as you are doing the bidding of others, you are going to act in a way that moves you closer to your vision of who you are. During that time, consider the different roles, then realistically program your time to move your own personal needle in the direction you want to go in that role. During that commander time, don’t ever assume that the urgent is going to disappear because you have a different plan. Don’t ever assume the outside forces will bend to your will and allow you to follow 100% your schedule of self-actualization. We must each be realistic with how much time we will be able to dedicate to our defined roles in the way we want to vs. the way other want us to act or perform. Even with small segments of the day and week dedicated to our own vision, we will start to slowly move in the direction we want to go instead of being completely beholden to the forces around us and our external bosses.Be your own commander. Then take time to envision what you want to accomplish with your command.